The Secret To A Happy Marriage

I'm sitting at the post-chuppah dinner table (#2) with my aunt at the Lakewood wedding I went to this weekend. It was my niece's wedding, very beautiful, thank G-d.

Somehow we end up talking about marriage.

"The secret to a happy marriage is never to talk to each other," I state firmly.

"Whaaaaaa???" my young married cousin gets this big grin.

My other cousin's daughter, a teenager, is staring at me. She's resting her face on her hands and her elbows on the table and she's smiling in this way that says, now this is interesting.

"That's right, just don't talk to each other. Talk equals fight."

"That's insane," my cousin says. "Oh my G-d."

My older daughter, who is with me at the wedding, leans forward intently. "No seriously though, how much should you talk?"

I turn around. "Not at all. I just said."

"Oh my G-d," says my cousin again.

"Well how much did you talk before you got married?"

"I don't know."

"How much do you talk now?"

"We talk!"

"What do you talk about?"

"I don't know, what do married couples talk about? The kids."

"You see!" I say triumphantly.

My beloved aunt Sari weighs in. "This was the first Shabbos without the kids. Miriam came home because what are Ma and Ta gonna do without kids to talk about."

"A-ha!" I pounded my fist on the table. "You see!"

My husband's mother, may she rest in peace, used to put one finger over her lips. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," she would say, and give a knowing look to my father-in-law, a"h.

You want a happy marriage?

Keep your opinions to yourself.

All opinions my own. Photo by Amanda Tipton via Flickr Creative Commons.