It's OK Not To Know

The experience of hospital. You have no power here. You pray a lot.

Someone said to me recently, I respect you more when you say "I don't know." Been turning that one over in my mind.

Me, the mom and the manager. Advice-giver on the side.

After my husband's surgery, after the recovery room, after six hours of holding back crying, after actually crying, and fifty thousand calls, texts and emails to and from the family, we went back to the room. My aunt called. I was on the computer. It was late at night.

"How are you?" she said.

"You want to talk to him?" 

"No. How are you."

"I'm on the computer. I'm freaking out."

There it was. I didn't know it all or have it together.

It felt really good to admit it. For the first time. To begin to just always be real. To stop the whole nonsense of "think brand first," which made no sense in the first place and even if it has a place, has gone way too far.

* All opinions my own. Photo out the hospital window by me.